to brighten your day...

Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are almost dead? ________________________________
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they already know there is not enough money?
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Why does someone Believe you when you say there are four billion stars; but has to check when you say the paint is still wet?
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Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
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Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? ________________________________
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
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Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
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If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? ________________________________
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? ________________________________
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? ________________________________
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
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Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down togive the vacuum one more chance? ________________________________
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? ________________________________
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? ________________________________
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?' ________________________________
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
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In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
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How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
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And my FAVORITE....... The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness.. Think of your three bestfriends -- if they're okay, then it's you.